Losing pieces of myself led to new beginnings
Losing pieces of myself in a relationship didn’t happen all at once.
It happened quietly, over time, in moments where I chose comfort over honesty and silence over self‑expression. At first it felt like love. It felt like compromise. It felt like doing what you’re supposed to do.
But slowly, I stopped recognizing myself.
I wasn’t growing anymore. I was adjusting. Shrinking. Making myself easier to love at the expense of my own identity.
When love turns into self‑abandonment
Relationships aren’t meant to erase you, but sometimes they do when boundaries vanish. You tell yourself it’s temporary. That things will get better. That sacrificing pieces of yourself is part of being committed.
Until one day, you realize you’re disconnected from who you are.
That realization hurts.
But it can also be powerful—because awareness is the first step toward change.
Rebuilding myself, one choice at a time
That season forced me to pause and ask hard questions:
Who am I outside of this relationship?
What do I actually need?
What parts of myself have I been ignoring?
Rebuilding myself wasn’t dramatic or instant. It was quiet work. Journaling. Setting boundaries. Sitting with uncomfortable truths. Learning to choose myself without guilt.
That personal rebuilding became the foundation for Evolve with Kiea, lived experience and real growth, not just a concept.
Helping others evolve without losing themselves
Today I help entrepreneurs, creators, and small business owners evolve their brands with intention.
Not by chasing trends.
Not by burning themselves out.
And not by losing who they are.
We focus on clarity, confidence, and systems that support sustainable growth. Because when you evolve, your brand naturally evolves with you.
Books that supported my healing and evolution
During my rebuilding season, these books helped me reconnect, rethink relationships and boundaries, and reset personal growth. Strong picks to share on Amazon or with your audience—here are direct, trusted buy options too:
1) Top pick for awakening and inner truth
Why this one shines: it’s a memoir‑style wake‑up call about trusting your own voice, even when it means breaking from expectations. Glennon Doyle’s story of abandoning self‑sacrifice to live more truthfully mirrors what many feel when they realize they’ve lost parts of themselves in a relationship.
Independent bookstore listings note its broad acclaim, bestseller status, and endorsements from writers like Brené Brown and Reese Witherspoon, underscoring how resonant and transformative readers have found it.
Best use: a powerful read for the moment you’re ready to stop shrinking yourself—perfect blog or newsletter feature when talking about reclaiming identity and courage.
Tradeoff: intensely personal and emotionally charged; readers seeking purely tactical guidance might also want a practical companion book on boundaries or habits.
How to Do the Work- How this book helped me |
This book helped me understand why I was losing myself, not just that it was happening. It gave language to patterns I couldn’t explain—people-pleasing, emotional overgiving, and staying quiet to keep the peace. Reading it felt like holding up a mirror to my habits and realizing how often I abandoned myself in relationships.
What made the biggest difference was how practical it is. It doesn’t just validate your feelings; it shows you how to take responsibility for your healing without shame. It helped me connect my emotional patterns to my boundaries, my confidence, and ultimately how I show up in life and business.
This was a turning-point book for me—the kind that shifts you from awareness into action. Perfect if you’re in a season of rebuilding, reclaiming your identity, and choosing alignment over survival.
2) Best practical guide to reclaiming yourself through boundaries
Why this is essential: once you’re aware you’ve lost parts of yourself, boundaries are the bridge from awareness to real change. Nedra Glover Tawwab lays out clear, research‑based steps for setting limits without guilt—exactly what many people need after realizing they’ve been giving too much of themselves away.
The listing emphasizes its purpose to help readers speak up for their needs and live more authentically, rooted in CBT practices and modern relationship research.
Bonus credibility: endorsements from various authors and mental‑health professionals highlight its practical effectiveness, showing it’s widely respected in the wellness community.
Best use: pair this with a personal story or worksheet callout in your blog; easy to turn into a mini‑challenge for readers to practice one boundary step each week.
Tradeoff: because it’s practical, it requires follow‑through—readers who want only inspiration may need encouragement to actually apply the exercises.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace - How this book helped me |
This book taught me that boundaries aren’t about pushing people away, they’re about protecting who you’re becoming. I realized how often I said “yes” out of fear, guilt, or habit, not because it actually felt right. Over time, that’s how I lost pieces of myself.
What I loved most is how clear and grounded this book is. It doesn’t overcomplicate boundaries or make you feel like you’re being selfish for needing them. Instead, it helped me understand that boundaries are a form of self-respect and emotional safety.
This book helped me stop overexplaining, stop over giving, and start honoring my own needs without apology. If you’re rebuilding after losing yourself in a relationship, this is the guide that helps you stay connected to yourself as you heal and grow.
3) Best for understanding relationship patterns and why they repeat
Why this matters: losing yourself often ties to repeating relationship patterns. This book breaks down attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, secure—explaining why some relationships feel effortless and others feel draining. Knowing your own style and your partner’s can shift how you approach connection, communication, and self‑care.
It’s grounded in attachment science and has been widely praised since publication, including strong reviews from psychology and relationship experts.
Best use: great as a follow‑up after the memoir and boundaries book; it adds a lens to understand past choices and avoid repeating patterns.
Tradeoff: more explanatory than directive—readers may want to discuss insights with friends, coaches, or journal prompts to turn knowledge into action.
Attached- How this book helped me |
This book helped me see my relationships clearly instead of emotionally. It explained why certain connections felt intense, draining, or familiar in ways I couldn’t articulate before. Learning about attachment styles gave me language for patterns I kept repeating without realizing it.
What stood out most was how eye-opening it was to understand my attachment style and how it interacted with others. It helped me stop personalizing behavior that was rooted in insecurity, avoidance, or unmet needs. That clarity alone shifted how I approach relationships now.
This book didn’t just help me understand past relationships, it helped me make better choices moving forward. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep attracting the same dynamics or feel stuck in cycles that don’t serve you, this one brings awareness that leads to change.
4) Best deep dive into self‑sabotage and inner growth
Why it helps: once you’re rebuilding, recognizing how you might sabotage your own progress is key. Brianna Wiest guides readers through understanding internal conflicts, emotional resilience, and the work needed to become your best self. It’s like a map for the internal mountain you’re climbing after a painful shift.
Best use: ideal to recommend when readers are halfway through their healing—after awareness and boundary steps, but before they feel fully confident. This book supports the mindset shift from surviving to thriving.
Tradeoff: contemplative and reflective; readers may need to take time, re‑read sections, or journal to extract practical insights.
The Gifts of Imperfection- How this book helped me |
This book helped me recognize how much perfectionism, people-pleasing, and fear of being “too much” were quietly holding me back. It showed me that self-sabotage doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like overthinking, self-doubt, or constantly trying to prove your worth.
What resonated most was the focus on letting go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embracing who you already are. That shift helped me soften toward myself instead of constantly pushing or criticizing myself into change.
This book supported my inner growth by teaching me that healing isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about accepting yourself fully and building from that place. If you’re working through self-sabotage rooted in shame, perfectionism, or fear, this one helps you rebuild from self-worth instead of self-pressure.
5) Best for turning small choices into big change
Why this grounds growth in real life: evolving yourself and your brand isn’t just about big epiphanies; it’s about tiny, consistent choices. James Clear’s book shows how small habit shifts—done repeatedly—build lasting results. That’s the practical engine for sustaining change after the emotional work is done.
The listing confirms bestseller status, massive global reach, and a practical framework for daily improvement.
Best use: great to close out your post or reading list. Suggest readers pick one small habit to practice for 30 days—something aligned with the boundaries or insights they’ve gained.
Tradeoff: requires consistent application. If readers expect overnight transformation, they’ll need encouragement to stick with tiny daily steps.
Atomic Habits- How this book helped me |
This book reminded me that real change doesn’t happen in one big moment, it happens in the small choices you make every day. After losing myself and doing the inner healing work, I needed something practical to help me stay aligned instead of slipping back into old patterns.
What stood out most was the idea that you don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. That shifted how I approached both my personal life and my business. Instead of trying to “be better,” I focused on building habits that supported the version of myself I was becoming.
This book helped me create consistency without pressure. Small boundaries. Small routines. Small daily actions that added up to confidence, clarity, and growth over time. If you’re rebuilding your life or your brand and want sustainable change, this is the book that helps you turn intention into action.
New beginnings start where you choose yourself
Losing pieces of myself didn’t mean I failed. It meant I reached a turning point. That season created space for alignment, growth, and intentional living.
If you’re rebuilding after losing yourself, know this: you’re not starting over. You’re starting aligned.
This is life in evolution. 🌱
Shop the Books That Supported My Healing & Evolution
If you’re in a season of healing, rebuilding, or rediscovering yourself, I’ve curated all of these books in one place for easy access. You can explore my Amazon list, where I keep the exact reads that supported my personal growth, boundaries, relationship clarity, and evolution into entrepreneurship. Each book on the list played a role in helping me reconnect with myself and build a life and brand rooted in alignment.
👉 Shop the full reading list on Amazon and start your own evolution journey. 🌱
